Just Charlie

A digital commonplace for a Regular Guy called Charlie Pharis

Category: Life Issues (page 2 of 2)

January 25, 2016 / 0 Comments

Part of Me…

Confused Signal

Stef via Compfight

Part of me wants to cry a lot of tears.

Part of me wants to write a “Dear ____” letter. Not to get involved in anybody’s business, but to say thanks for the good parts and get clarity on the bad.

Part of me wants to stay away.

Part of me wants to stick around and see what happens next.

Part of me wants to say it’ll be OK.

Part of me wants to say, “Wake up, grow up, quit messing around, and get on with your life!”

Part of me wonders why.

Part of me says it’s really not my concern.

Part of me says yes it is.

Part of me wants to help.

Part of me wants to know what happened.

Part of me wants to get over the possibility.

Part of me is glad I never had to do this in the age of social media.

Part of me hopes somebody else comes along, if that’s the way.

Part of me wants to reach out to one, part to the other.

Part of me wants to gather both together.

Part of me is grateful.

Part of me is confused and angry.

Part of me doesn’t know what to do next.

Part of me says it’s not up to me.

Part of me doesn’t want to see it end.

Part of me is relieved.

Part of me wonders what might have been and still might be.

August 15, 2015 / 0 Comments

School Days (for lack of a better title)…

Class Clown

Vernon Barford School via Compfight

I like to think I was too busy learning to be bothered with school. But looking back, I have to admit it may look like I was too undisciplined and too unmotivated. The truth is I was afraid. I was afraid of failing. And I was even more afraid of succeeding.

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t reading. As a first grader, I was reading the fifth-grade reading book. By myself at a table in the classroom. I seem to remember my teacher, Miss Peggy, talking with my mom about moving me up a grade because of my reading. My mom demurred, arguing that my other academic and social skills were not as advanced as my reading. She may have been right.

By third grade, I had discovered girls and a love for writing. Mrs. Kight’s third grade classroom was world headquarters for the periodical Odd Sane Dog, a handwritten, hand-copied, and hand-distributed counter-culture newsletter. Well, it was as counter-culture as possible for a third grader in southeast Georgia. But there also was Molly Cannon in the third grade.

Oh, Molly.

Good golly, indeed.

I fell hard for Molly. Too bad for me, she didn’t give me the time of day. I guess the OSD was too out there for her.

In the fifth grade, I discovered the power of getting other people’s attention. There was the time I got sent to the principal’s office for talking too much about our Little League game from the day before. The principal had a novel way of dealing with loquacious fifth-graders. He made us sit out on a bench in front of his office with white adhesive tape crossed over our mouths. Imagine the looks we got as our colleagues passed by on the way to recess or lunch or wherever. Funny, ha ha! Imagine the look I got from my mom (who worked in the school office by this time) when she saw me like that!

As a seventh-grader, I became a published poet. No, for real.

August 5, 2015 / 0 Comments

Listening to the Quiet…

day 009.

Creative Commons License Holly Lay via Compfight

I decided to take this afternoon’s walk sans headphones, so I could listen to what was going on around me.  I needed the quiet, I surmised, so that I could clear out some of the jumble in my head and mostly in my soul.

I wanted to listen, to pay attention, to be mindful (whatever that word means, with all its baggage). I wanted to notice.

I wanted to listen to the quiet.

I heard the whirring hum of mountain bike tires on the concrete trail.

I heard the gentle rustle of leaves as the afternoon breeze blew.

I heard the busy sounds of bugs and birds.

I heard the chatter of walkers and kayakers.

I heard the dreams and plans of lovers and friends.

I heard the soothing static of rapids at the end of the trail.

I heard my own footsteps padding upon the pavement.

I heard the silky slither of a snake through the sand, into the weeds at the water’s edge.

I heard interstate traffic whizzing by, oblivious, as though this trail, this piece of near-solitude didn’t even exist.

I heard my own breath. I heard my own heartbeat.

I heard my soul whisper in prayer that this was good, if only for a few moments.

 

January 2, 2015 / 0 Comments

Reboot, Part 1…

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 Image:  Acid Pix via https://flic.kr/p/dPcExT

Sometimes we encounter problems and issues with our computers, phones, and other devices that can only be resolved with a complete reboot. Powering down the device completely and giving it a chance to fix the issue is often the only recourse. In fact, some experts tell us we should schedule regular times of powering down and rebooting to keep or devices running at optimal effectiveness.

We’re like that, too. Just like our devices, we encounter issues that can only be resolved by a time of rebooting. I’ve come to recognize some of the symptoms in my life that may indicate it’s time for a reboot.

I need a reboot when…

  •  I’m isolated. I’m not talking about the time alone that most of us need more than we admit. I’m not talking about being an introvert by temperament. I’m talking about those times in my life when I go out of my way to avoid other people, even those who are in my close network of support. When I find myself shutting people out and retreating to the places where I can stay away from others, I may need a reboot. As an introvert living in a world that tilts toward extroverts, I need some time away to recharge and refocus. But I also need to realize I was created for community and any excuse I find to get away from others over an extended time is a good indicator I need to reboot.
  • I’m impatient. A sure sign of impending failure for me is my short fuse that gets shorter when I’m stressed or under pressure. Every little thing sets me off and makes me irritable. Things that I normally ignore or try to resolve peacefully seem to fester from “gnat bites” into major events. I need to reboot when my patience is running thin over minor issues.
  • I’m inconsistent. In my work, in my ethical dealings, in the way I treat others and issues. When my work starts to slip into shoddiness, I may need to step back, rest, and refocus on excellence. When I start to cut ethical corners with little thought, it may be time for a reboot and a heart check. When my relationships reflect a lack of consistency and compassion, it’s often a sign of something wrong in my system. I need to check that and restart with a commitment to do what’s right.

Next time, I’ll give some practical pointers on how to make that reboot effective.

Until then, think about the issues that get your system off track and out of sorts. Can you identify those triggers and symptoms?

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