Good mentors/coaches know…
- How to bring out the best and point out the worst
- The difference between a whack on the side of the head, a pat on the back, and a kick in the butt – and how and when to apply each one
What else do good mentors know?
Archives (page 37 of 165)
Ken Blanchard says in Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager that the first “trick” of the self leader is Challenging Assumed Constraints. He defines an “assumed constraint” as…
a belief you have, based on past experience, that limits your current and future experiences. (p. 33)
So, if I’m going to challenge the assumed constraints in my life and my organization, and if I’m going to move beyond those past assumptions to a more productive and effective future, the starting place seems to be identifying what those assumed constraints are.
I started thinking about those assumptions this week, and as they came up, I started listing them in my notebook. I’ve got to tell you, it’s not a pretty picture. Especially when I realize that the assumptions I’ve placed on the people I lead and serve may be more detrimental to our mission than the assumptions I assume they operate under themselves.
And that scares me.
So, since you’re already praying for me after “I Quit,” you might as well go ahead and look with me into these constraints that have been holding me – and us – back.
Assumed Constraints for Our Church
- That our best days are behind us
- That we “can’t compete” with the megachurches, the new churches, etc. all around us
What About the Constraints I’ve Placed On Our People?
- That no one really cares
- That they (we) aren’t willing to change
- That they won’t follow my leadership
- That they (we) are stuck in the past
- That they (we) are not interested in the things that really matter
- That the “old dogs” are too old to “learn new tricks”
- That they (we) won’t respond to any bold challenges
- That they (we) won’t accept the responsibility for a new season of growth and effectiveness
- That they (we) are too interested in having our own needs met to actively reach out to meet the needs of others
- That they (we) won’t give to support anything new
- That they won’t like me if I lead in a different direction
- That they will fire me if they don’t like me
What About the Assumed Constraints I’m Fighting Against Personally?
- That I’m too old to attempt something great for God
- That I’m hopelessly stuck in debt that keeps me from real freedom to do those great things for God
- That I don’t have the necessary skills to be effective in this culture
- That I – and I alone – am completely responsible for the success or failure of our church
This week, I’m in the challenging mode…if you need to challenge your assumed constraints, share them. Let’s commit to praying for and helping each other with challenging – and overcoming those things that are holding us back. Deal?
I found this challenging quote in Perspective, the journal of the Association of YMCA Professionals…
When Aeschines spoke, they said, “How well he speaks, what glorious words, what magnificent tones!” But, when Demosthenes spoke, they shouted, “Let us march against Philip now!”
WOW! What will my people say when I speak this weekend? What will yours say? The more important question is: What will my people do with what I say this weekend? What will yours do?
Giving the Christmas music a little break tonight. Listening to the Chicago Symphony performing Debussy’s La Mer, as part of their weekly radio broadcast.
OK, I know most of you just don’t get the whole Christmas-music-after-Labor-Day thing. I understand your rolling your eyes and suggesting it’s too early for Christmas music, and all that stuff.
Get over it, already! (BTW, it would help you chill a bit if you’d put on some Christmas music of your choice, but that’s another matter altogether.)
Anyway, today’s current Christmas music is A Jazz Christmas: Hot Jazz for a Cool Night. And right now the late, great Kenny Davern is playing the most laid-back, cool version of “Jingle Bells” I’ve ever heard. (OK, OK, not really Christmas music, per se, but a winter holiday favorite nonetheless!)
Perhaps Barbra said it best…
On a clear day…
You can see forever…
And ever…
And ever…
And ever more. . .
It’s a clear day in Cherokee County today. And it’s been an unusually clear day for me. Ever have one of those days when it just seems you can see stuff you’ve been missing? When you get a lot done with unusual productivity? When your work is a joy? Just like that…that’s what I’m enjoying today! Maybe more to come later…
Maybe this is taking the rivalry just a bit too seriously!
Yikes! And Ouch!
Oh, yeah…if you scroll down through the story, you find out another interesting tidbit about the alleged assailant…
Beckett, a 53-year-old church deacon, federal auditor and former Army combat veteran, has pleaded not guilty.
Painting your face, your head, and/or your body in school colors is one thing. Barking like a silly mutt is another. Making that silly shark motion when your silly team is a silly freshwater reptile is another. Even stealing your rival’s mascot is OK.
But ripping a guy’s well…“guys”…off is just a tad over the top, don’t you think? And don’t even think about proposing changes to the worship style, carpet color, or water fountain location at your next church meeting…
To the two or maybe three of you who care, I apologize for not making good on my promise to fill in the blanks about quitting from a couple of weeks ago, so let me give you the Reader’s Digest version of “I Quit Today.”
Two Sundays ago, my talk was called “I Quit,” and I based it on 2 Corinthians 4, which God had been using to rock my world for several days at the time. I prefaced my message by saying that there comes a time when, contrary to conventional wisdom, it’s OK, even necessary to quit. (I hadn’t read Seth Godin’s The Dip at the time, but my later reading of his little book on quitting sure resonated with my heart and mind!) Anyway, about this time, you could sense the tension in the congregation when I announced that I was quitting. I went on to talk about seven things I was quitting, effective immediately. (Here they are, in case you’re interested).
- I quit playing church – and start pleasing God. Life is way too short to play to the audiences that don’t get it, that don’t care about it, and that really don’t matter in the eternal scheme of things.
- I quit being responsible for things I’m not responsible for – and start fulfilling my calling. I am responsible for doing some things and doing them as well as possible. But I am not responsible for everything.
- I quit focusing on peripheral issues – and start focusing on what really matters.
- I quit doing everything I can – and start operating in God’s power and with God’s resources.
- I quit complaining about how bad I have it – and start being grateful for the work God is doing in my life.
- I quit placating the insiders – and start seeking out those who are far from God.
- I quit gazing at what’s around – and start concentrating on what’s ahead.
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen…use it if you want it. Learn from it if it helps. Ignore it if it doesn’t. But whatever you do with it, I’d certainly appreciate and benefit from your prayers. Thanks!