Today Ain’t July Fourth, Rome, Georgia Ain’t Coney Island…


…and sloppy Joes ain’t hot dogs!

(NOTE: The following is an almost verbatim transcript of an actual phone conversation that occurred on Monday, July 24, 2006 around 2:01 p.m. The identities have been changed to protect the…, the…, well, read the transcript, and you decide what to call the protectee!)

ME: Hello?
CALLER: Whassup?
ME: Just putting a load of clothes in the washer. What are you doing?
CALLER: Nothing, just chillin’.
ME: So, what’s going on?
CALLER: I was wondering if you might have a remedy for something I did today.
ME: OK…a remedy for what?
CALLER: I just finished scarfing down six and a half sloppy Joes, and I’m not feeling so well. Got any ideas?

Well, you get the idea. Seems there was an impromptu sloppy Joe eating contest between “The Bo…”…I mean, “The CALLER” and some Goliath-sized football player in the cafeteria. For the record, “The Bo…”…I mean, “The CALLER” took him. But now he’s paying for it.

Just wait…