Good mentors/coaches know…
- How to bring out the best and point out the worst
- The difference between a whack on the side of the head, a pat on the back, and a kick in the butt – and how and when to apply each one
What else do good mentors know?
Category: Thoughts (page 14 of 15)
Ken Blanchard says in Self Leadership and The One Minute Manager that the first “trick” of the self leader is Challenging Assumed Constraints. He defines an “assumed constraint” as…
a belief you have, based on past experience, that limits your current and future experiences. (p. 33)
So, if I’m going to challenge the assumed constraints in my life and my organization, and if I’m going to move beyond those past assumptions to a more productive and effective future, the starting place seems to be identifying what those assumed constraints are.
I started thinking about those assumptions this week, and as they came up, I started listing them in my notebook. I’ve got to tell you, it’s not a pretty picture. Especially when I realize that the assumptions I’ve placed on the people I lead and serve may be more detrimental to our mission than the assumptions I assume they operate under themselves.
And that scares me.
So, since you’re already praying for me after “I Quit,” you might as well go ahead and look with me into these constraints that have been holding me – and us – back.
Assumed Constraints for Our Church
- That our best days are behind us
- That we “can’t compete” with the megachurches, the new churches, etc. all around us
What About the Constraints I’ve Placed On Our People?
- That no one really cares
- That they (we) aren’t willing to change
- That they won’t follow my leadership
- That they (we) are stuck in the past
- That they (we) are not interested in the things that really matter
- That the “old dogs” are too old to “learn new tricks”
- That they (we) won’t respond to any bold challenges
- That they (we) won’t accept the responsibility for a new season of growth and effectiveness
- That they (we) are too interested in having our own needs met to actively reach out to meet the needs of others
- That they (we) won’t give to support anything new
- That they won’t like me if I lead in a different direction
- That they will fire me if they don’t like me
What About the Assumed Constraints I’m Fighting Against Personally?
- That I’m too old to attempt something great for God
- That I’m hopelessly stuck in debt that keeps me from real freedom to do those great things for God
- That I don’t have the necessary skills to be effective in this culture
- That I – and I alone – am completely responsible for the success or failure of our church
This week, I’m in the challenging mode…if you need to challenge your assumed constraints, share them. Let’s commit to praying for and helping each other with challenging – and overcoming those things that are holding us back. Deal?
I found this challenging quote in Perspective, the journal of the Association of YMCA Professionals…
When Aeschines spoke, they said, “How well he speaks, what glorious words, what magnificent tones!” But, when Demosthenes spoke, they shouted, “Let us march against Philip now!”
WOW! What will my people say when I speak this weekend? What will yours say? The more important question is: What will my people do with what I say this weekend? What will yours do?
Perhaps Barbra said it best…
On a clear day…
You can see forever…
And ever…
And ever…
And ever more. . .
It’s a clear day in Cherokee County today. And it’s been an unusually clear day for me. Ever have one of those days when it just seems you can see stuff you’ve been missing? When you get a lot done with unusual productivity? When your work is a joy? Just like that…that’s what I’m enjoying today! Maybe more to come later…
Just some stuff that fell out as I get up and going this morning…
- OK, Perry’s a happy camper this morning, although he probably had to sleep on the sofa.
- BTW, without the Georgia connection, it may have been a different story.
- One more game note…it’s probably past time for Bobby to pack up the winningest record in Divison 1-A and head to the house.
- Ben Arment on the danger of vision.
- Jimmy Britt on responding to critics.
- A.W. Tozer on enthusiasm – or the lack of it.
- Christmas at Our House, by Barbara Mandrell
OK, that’s it…I’ve got 2 miles to cover, and weights that didn’t get lifted yesterday! I’ll pay off the “I Quit” post later this evening…
Stay tuned…more details to come…
Just some things in my head and my heart at the end of a long Sunday…
- God used Lifehouse to speak to me this morning. Funny…He also spoke to our folks through their song “Storm.” Even funnier…”we” didn’t much “get” The Goo Goo Dolls a couple of weeks ago, but “we” “heard” Lifehouse today. Go figure…maybe there is hope after all…
- Speaking of lyrics, (and speaking of Ella in the previous post), the “old” lyricists were real craftsmen with words…Told me love was too plebeian, told me you were through with me and…yes!
- Thoreau was right…The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
What happens when your mind races and goes nowhere…
- Banks, country clubs, gay porn? Yeah…change it!
- I’m blessed beyond measure to get to hang with some of the people I get to hang with. Thanks, guys!
- Little kids. Swimming lessons. Too funny!
- Don’t ask!
Just some stuff rolling around in and out of my head tonight, in no particular order…
- Helping people start on a healthy fitness habit is a lot like being a pastor. If you’re not careful, you can talk about the stuff and neglect doing what you’re talking about. Put it another way: YMCA wellness coaches may be in danger of having their own advances in weight loss, fitness, etc. take a hit while they try to help others start their own good habits. Diligence is the key in anything, I guess.
- It’s official: Summer is just about one week too long. The lovely and gracious “Mrs. Just Charlie” is back at her school this week, and she’s already a lot happier. And I’m not on her nerves quite as much.
- I never want to strike out preaching like I did last Sunday. Never again.
- People who need excuses the least are the ones who seem to find the most. (See the thought at the top of this list).
- People are not really very realistic. If you’re 32, about 5’7” and you weigh 270+, chances are you’re probably not going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas. You might, but it’s not likely. Especially if you sign up at the Y on Tuesday, and you’ve already got an excuse or three by Thursday. (See the thought immediately preceding this one).
- 60+ year old former computer engineers with bad knees and a great sense of humor are probably more likely to achieve their fitness goals than 30-somethings who have too many excuses.
- Funerals are sad. Sometimes even more so.
- Being out of the loop stinks. Especially when you try really hard to act like you’re in it.
- British accents are very cool.
- 2.5 miles before the sun comes up is, too.
- Jack Johnson is all right.
- Unexpected good news is very good. But its goodness is somewhat diminished when it’s immediately followed by disappointing news.
- “The Boy” rocks!
- I’m learning to depend more on God and my Day-Timer.
- Bivocational? Nothing to it! Quadri-vocational? Now that’s a trick!
Just some stuff rolling around in and out of my head tonight, in no particular order…
- Helping people start on a healthy fitness habit is a lot like being a pastor. If you’re not careful, you can talk about the stuff and neglect doing what you’re talking about. Put it another way: YMCA wellness coaches may be in danger of having their own advances in weight loss, fitness, etc. take a hit while they try to help others start their own good habits. Diligence is the key in anything, I guess.
- It’s official: Summer is just about one week too long. The lovely and gracious “Mrs. Just Charlie” is back at her school this week, and she’s already a lot happier. And I’m not on her nerves quite as much.
- I never want to strike out preaching like I did last Sunday. Never again.
- People who need excuses the least are the ones who seem to find the most. (See the thought at the top of this list).
- People are not really very realistic. If you’re 32, about 5’7” and you weigh 270+, chances are you’re probably not going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas. You might, but it’s not likely. Especially if you sign up at the Y on Tuesday, and you’ve already got an excuse or three by Thursday. (See the thought immediately preceding this one).
- 60+ year old former computer engineers with bad knees and a great sense of humor are probably more likely to achieve their fitness goals than 30-somethings who have too many excuses.
- Funerals are sad. Sometimes even more so.
- Being out of the loop stinks. Especially when you try really hard to act like you’re in it.
- British accents are very cool.
- 2.5 miles before the sun comes up is, too.
- Jack Johnson is all right.
- Unexpected good news is very good. But its goodness is somewhat diminished when it’s immediately followed by disappointing news.
- “The Boy” rocks!
- I’m learning to depend more on God and my Day-Timer.
- Bivocational? Nothing to it! Quadri-vocational? Now that’s a trick!