OK, A Grocery Store Is Going to Make Me Forfeit My Man Card…

OK, so I think Chris is right about panty praise. I also happen to agree with him about Lee McDerment’s new CD. (Well, Chris, you may want to re-think the instrumental tracks on Lee’s CD.) But I digress…

I really have had it about up to here with those “Jesus is My Boyfriend” songs. But I digress…

In the interest of complete disclosure, though, let me hasten to add: I didn’t spend $400 on my last pair of jeans. (Heck, I’m not sure I’ve spent $400 on blue jeans altogether in my whole life!) In fact, I’m still convinced that Levi’s trump Lucky and 501 is a waaaay more manly number than Seven. But I digress…

I’m not enamored of the pseudo-sport involving “stepping on the gas and turning left.” I still don’t understand tattoos or ultimate fighting. But I digress…

And although I enjoy the aroma of a fine unlit cigar, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be lighting one up any time soon. I learned a long time ago that drinking a beer every now and again won’t send you to hell, but it’ll sure give the horse’s bladder a large sense of relief, and so you won’t get much of an argument from me over the finer points of lager vs. pilsner vs. pale ale vs. microbrews vs. PBR. But I digress…

I probably won’t talk in my messages about having needles applied to um…strategic locations. But I digress…

I’m not likely to punch anyone in the throat or anything like that. But I digress…

Having said all that, I’m about as all-American, red-blooded male as you’ll find, but that new Publix commercial – about the newlyweds who come to Grandma’s house for dinner, and leave with the tattered recipe card from Grandma – had me wiping a little dust a few minutes ago.

Come to think of it, several of those Publix seasonal ads have had the same effect! Sorry!